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Archive for June, 2010

Ok, so I’m on the Susie Magazine forums thing (if you don’t know what it is, it’s a Christian girl’s forum site) and a TON of the subjects on the forums are about weddings. What kind of wedding dress do you want, what stone do you want in your ring, what’s the colour theme for your wedding going to be, etc. I’m pretty sure there was even one on what the appetizers were going to be at your reception.

It got me wondering, why are girls so consumed with this idea of the perfect wedding?

Now don’t get me wrong, I do my fair share of planning my own wedding. I basically have my wedding dress designed already. But I still sometimes have a hard time understanding why girls are so caught up in the idea of a wedding.

If you ask any teenage guy what their dream wedding would be like, their opinion would most likely revolve around the dessert table at the reception. If they have an opinion, that is. Most likely they’ll just look at you funny and mutter something about the hippos that need rescuing in their video-game.

If you ask any teenage girl, however, they’ll start listing off the bride’s maid’s dresses, the pew bows, the colour themes, the exact length and style of the dress, exactly how the flower girl will look, what her bouquet will be of, and probably even the exact amount of glitter that will be in her hair. They’ve likely even got the groom picked out. All that’s left is finding the groom to match their description…

Personally, I think that we are so addicted to the thought of a wedding because we’ve been raised that way. Not by our parents, teaching us everything there is to know about weddings and how to plan a great one, like in Penelope, but by the movies we watched, and the songs that we heard, and the wedding barbies, and the books our moms used to read us. Girls are raised for weddings, in my opinion.

We’ve all had that big white poofy dress for our barbies or dollies, or whatever you used to play with. I’m pretty sure I had one for every single toy I ever owned. I even had a wedding smurf, for crying out loud. Almost every single one of the games I used to play with my friends ended with the girl barbie putting on the big white dress and getting married to the boy barbie.

Think about every single Disney movie you’ve ever seen. All of them end up with the beautiful girl and the drop-dead gorgeous prince getting married. It’s like you can sit back and relax, knowing that now it’s going to be all right.

I also think it’s because as soon as we enter the preteen years we start getting the dating talks about waiting for the right man and about how on our wedding we want to be able to say we saved it all. The wedding is shown to be the climax of people’s lives.

Why do you think girls are so addicted to the idea of a wedding? Why do we pour over pictures of wedding dresses and idolize the idea of our “perfect day?”

Becca

Next post is going to be related to the wedding theme, so check back soon!

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I am a firm believer in the fact that the way a person speaks says a lot about them.

If they swear a ton or make fun of people, they’re likely not the best choice for a friend. If they’re always building others up and encouraging, telling funny jokes, and laughing a lot, I always go over and get to know them better.

But what about the way a person writes?

I don’t mean the way they write like their penmanship or their number of grammatical or spelling mistakes, but what they write about. How they present their points. How they interact with people over the internet.

Currently if you asked any person you know it’s very likely that they have at least one internet friend. I have two. Ellyn, (purplepeppermint… she’s cool. Check her out) and a friend from my online school. I’ve made other friends, too, but those are my two main ones.

Now what I mean is this: can you truly ever know someone by talking to them over the internet?

It’s what I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. And honestly, I have no idea what the answer is. I think it is possible to become fast friends very easy, but it’s an interesting friendship. You can learn tons about the person without ever knowing them, if you know what I mean. It’s so easy to pretend to be someone that you’re not… By reading my posts you might think that I’m totally self-confident, but I’m not at all. You might think I’m totally firm in my faith, but to be honest, it’s something I struggle with every day.

It’s very easy to be someone online who you’re not offline. Not that online friendships are bad, just that they’re interesting to think about.

What do you think about them?

Becca

Quick pointer: I would advise people to be very careful when getting to know people over the internet. Only do so from safe sites and with people who you are positive that they are who they say they are. Mmkay? Mmkay.

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How far?

How far are you willing to go for your best friend?

Would you stand up for her in front of the meanest kids you know?

Would you sell all your stuff?

Would you take a bullet?

Would you shave your head?

Recently, where I live, a girl has been diagnosed with cancer. She’s my age.

A few of her friends have completely shaved their heads for her in support.

Be honest with yourself: could you do it? Or could you never give up your hair, since it would take so long to grow back? Do you think vanity would outweigh your love for your friend?

How far would you go for your best friend?

Just something I’ve been thinking about lately.

Becca

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Hey everyone!

So we’re reading C. S. Lewis’ Mere Christianity in school, and part of our schooling is that we have to write down quotes and what we think about them in some journals that mommy bought us. I just wrote something down today, and just wanted to share my journal entry with you:

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“The laws of nature, as applied to stones or trees, may only mean ‘what nature, in fact, does.’ But if you turn to the Law of Human Nature, the Law of Decent Behaviour, it is a different matter. The law certainly does not mean, ‘what human beings, in fact, do’; for as I said before, many of them do not obey this law at all, and none obey it completely.”

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

He’s right. A rock has no choice about whether it’s going to stay in the river or be picked up and carried to a different area. It doesn’t choose whether it’s going to fall when thrown into the air or not.

We as humans, though, have a choice not in the laws of Nature, but in the Law of Decent Behaviour. Are we going to do what’s right? Or will we refuse to go past ankle-deep water and stick with what’s easy and safe?

Let’s listen to the still, small voice, to the unsaid law of right and wrong, to our conscience, the Holy Spirit, whatever you want to call it. But whatever you do, don’t be content with ankle-deep.

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So I’m thinking of starting a blog on Blogspot, too, so that I can get more readers. :) Since I get e-mails with all my comments now, I’m thinking of starting up on blogspot too since it’s so much more organized and I find I can get twice as much blogging done in half as much time as I used to… so yeah. :) When I have an account there I’ll notify you guys. :)

Becca

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I was recently chatting with Emily Sue on skype, and she mentioned that she was typing up all her old journals so she would have them all together.

I thought “HEY! That’s an amazing idea!” so I proceeded to copy her idea.

So lately I’ve been going through my old journals, and it really hit me how much I’ve changed.

My first trip to Kenya comes alive again as I read about the amazing white stuff I ate (ugali, which no one else likes in my family) and about my first friends from MCF, the grade 6 class. My difficulties with self-image, and my struggles with self-worth come back as I read from when I was 13, and my stressing and worries about a certain friend from a year ago.

It’s fun to watch how I’ve changed. Back in January of 2005 (my first journal) I was still very much a little kid, even though people were starting to expect me to act a little older. I was 10 at the time, and my favourite pass-time was still to make houses and beds for my stuffed animals.

By the time I was 11 I was a wee bit obsessed with crushes, but still had profound things to say about friends, family, and the meaning of life. When I came back from Kenya I resolved to not go crazy over a mere crush anymore, and kept that up for a good two…weeks. I was a pathetic 11 year old. =)

11 was a big year for me. I experienced my first real heartbreak as all but three of my friends left me in a single day. It still hurts to this day (four years and 24 new awesome friends later) when I read that entry.

The summer of when I was 12 our families switched churches. I had never fit into our old church, but I immediately clicked with this one. Suddenly I was once again surrounded by people who cared about me, and wanted me to do well in whatever I did. I joined the quizzing program that had just started, and I had a great time. I made friends with youth of all ages, and kinda became the little sister to the older kids in the youth group.

When I was 13 my views on everything suddenly changed. I simply refused, all of a sudden, to let myself become infatuated with absolutely any guy I know. And it’s stuck through to this day. I read Joshua Harris’s book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and–after much prayer and hard-work–I was able to finally give up my crushes and the like over to God. To be honest, my life has never been the same since.

At 14 I struggled with self-confidence. I began to feel I was worthless, ugly, fat, and basically every insult you can heap upon yourself. Some days I would just sit in my room and cry (quietly, so my mom wouldn’t know), because I wanted to get rid of this self-hatred, but I didn’t know how.

My cousin Alex was homeschooled by us that year. We fought a lot. Like, a LOT a lot. But now I am so grateful we did, because I got to know him so much more, and now I don’t think of him as a cousin, but as a brother who just lives in a different house.And we remain close to this day. (I think, anyway. he might think differently. ;) )

By May I was finally getting over my self-hatred, thanks to an amazing friend I had, right in time for the last quiz meet. When the were announcing everyone who made it to the quiz-offs for internationals, (HUGE deal) Katie (my sister) was called, but I wasn’t. All the progress I had made with self-confidence and self-esteem went right into the trash right at that moment. I ran out and just cried for it must have been an hour and a half. Mommy and daddy tried to comfort me, but I really was just having a hard time with it. I knew they loved me–I needed someone else to tell me I was good enough. Someone else to tell me that they knew I could do it.

And that’s exactly what happened. While watching the quiz-offs (Katie was too young to participate anyway) A person I had never met in my life came over and just started talking to me. He just encouraged me, and made me laugh so I forgot my depression for a beautiful 5 minutes. It felt so good to be talked to by someone as Rebecca, not as Katie’s sister. He still has no idea how much those five minutes meant to me, even though I’ve told him over and over.

The rest of the summer was shaky, but by September I was over it and fully ready to attack a new year. And I did, leading into this year, 2010, by being the number 1 quizzer for all of our district.

This year I’m 15. I love my sister (though I still struggle with trying to be the best), both of us made it to internationals this year, and my goal in life now is to encourage others in the way my friend encouraged me 13 months ago (in 3 days).

Go and encourage someone–maybe when they’re reminiscing you’ll become the highlight of their time.

Becca

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Hey everyone

While I was brushing my teeth this morning, humming 15 by Taylor Swift, and I sang these lines:

“But in your life you’ll do things greater than

Dating the boy on the foot ball team,

But I didn’t know it at fifteen.”

and it got me thinking. I’m sure Taylor didn’t mean that when she was 15 she couldn’t see into her future. She probably knew she was going to go on to college, grow older and have a family, and have to work for money like everyone else. She knew that what she did was going to have reprecussions when she was older, whether good or bad.

So what did she mean?

What I think she meant was very simply this: you can know something without understanding it. You can hear something without fully processing it. You can learn something without applying it in some way to your life.

How many of you know about the suffering in third world countries? How many of you know about the children dying every day of malnutrition and HIV/AIDS? All of you.

But how many of you let it influence the way you live your life?

How many of you can tithe your 10% towards charity on a Sunday, crying because of what the children are going through,  and then on Monday go spend $80 on a shirt you wear two more times before you throw it out?

Most of us can. This is because though we’ve heard something, we don’t fully understand it.

Sadly, this doesn’t only happen in high school settings and in giving money away. This happens everywhere. It happens in school, with eating habits, in spending, in who you hang out with, who you date, and with your relationship with God.

How many of us can spit out 100 facts about God pretty easily? You all probably could if you’ve been Christian since the day you started Sunday school at age 2. How many of us know all the basics to Christianity so much that we can say them in our sleep?

But how many of us truly understand? How many of us let it affect us so much that it influences the way we live every day? How many of us know so much that even mentioning the cross brings a great feeling of joy mixed with sorrow?

Hardly any of us.

You can’t be a luke-warm Christian. Understand God. Don’t just know about him, KNOW him.

1 Corinthians 8:2: “The man who loves God is known by God.”

If we understand God, we begin to know him in a deeper more intimate way than we could ever imagine. We begin to see him not as that spiritual being far away taking care of someone else, but as a personal Father, a daddy, as Jesus called him (Abba in the Bible). When you understand God enough that he affects your every living day, God will become personal, will become a best friend, a Father.

So this is my challenge to you: Don’t only know, but understand. Don’t only hear, but apply. Don’t only learn, but process. Especially in regards to your relationship with God.

Becca

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