So I’m just going to post something I wrote for my WriteAtHome assignment last week. it’s the final draft of a three draft assignment, about writing fables like "The Hare and the Tortoise" and "The Fox and the Sour Grapes" and stuff. So here it is!
The Mouse and the Cookie Jar
Once upon a time in a little hole beside a big oak tree lived a family of mice. There was Mother Mouse with her yellow sun hat and Father Mouse with his bright green tie. There was Sister Mouse with her lacy pink dress, and Brother Mouse with his black pirate hat with a bright red feather. Last of all, there was Baby Mouse with a blue baby bonnet.
Sometimes, Father Mouse would scurry across the yard over to Mr. Hummel’s kitchen to grab a lump of cheese or bread for them to eat instead of the boring old nuts. Mr Hummel’s kitchen was a dangerous place for young mice, so Mother Mouse made sure her children never tried to sneak in. She would warn them that “If I ever find that any of you have gone to Mr Hummel’s house I will send you to bed without any supper.” Both mice did not want to be punished, and Sister Mouse was happy to stay at home. Brother Mouse, however, still would dream about travelling to the giant house across the yard.
One sunny day, Mother Mouse and Father Mouse declared that they were going to visit their cousins. They kissed their children good-bye, and told them to be good little mice while they were gone. “We’ll see you tonight, dears!” Mother Mouse called, “and remember: stay out of Mr Hummel’s kitchen!” Then they were off.
Sister Mouse immediately began to play peek-a-boo with Baby Mouse as she had been told. However, Brother Mouse sneakily looked from side, looking for a way to escape the mouse hole. While his sister wasn’t looking, he raced out the door, out into the open. He leapt over rocks and splashed through rain puddles towards Mr. Hummel’s house, and finally he found the mouse-hole to get into the house that he had heard about in his father’s stories. He squeezed through, and was in! He gave a shout for joy and hurried into the kitchen—right into a giant, fluffy cat. Brother Mouse froze. Laughing, the cat snatched him up in his paw. Squirming in the cat’s tight grip, Brother Mouse bit down on one of the cat’s whiskers, and the cat dropped him, hissing. Wide-eyed and panting, the mouse rushed off into the kitchen, and scrambled up a dish cloth hanging from the counter, climbing up to safety. He collapsed, exhausted and trembling. He hadn’t thought the cat would be that fast!
Eventually the little mouse hopped back up onto his feet and scampered down towards the cupboards. Opening the big wooden doors, he gazed in wonder at the amazing things he saw. Biscuits, cheese, breads, fruits—anything a mouse could ask for! He began to gather the food into his arms, but then he saw the cookie jar.
He remembered the stories his father told him about the amazing taste of cookies, and licked his lips as he imagined the sugary taste. He looked at the cheese he held in his arms and hesitated. “Maybe I’ve got enough already—this cheese would feed us for a week!” he told himself. But instead he dropped the cheese and bread, and opened up the lid of the cookie jar. Peeking inside, he saw more chocolate-chip cookies than he thought was possible to have at once! He reached and reached, but couldn’t touch them. He stretched farther, trying to smell the sweet scent of the cookies until…Plop! He fell right into the cookie jar, and the lid came down on top. He was trapped. He pushed on the lid, trying to free himself, but it was no use. Brother Mouse yelled, but no one could hear him. He wiped his nose as he looked at the cookies, tears clouding his vision. They weren’t worth getting stuck in this small, dark jar! He wished he had never left home. He had even lost his bright red feather! He started to cry.
Suddenly, the top was lifted off the jar. Brother Mouse leapt up, and saw a young girl looking at him. He squeaked in fear, what is she going to do to me, he thought. She screamed and picked him up by his tail, throwing him out the window, where he landed in a bush. Scratched and bruised, Brother Mouse stumbled home as fast as he could, trying not to cry. When he opened the door to his little home, Father and Mother Mouse were standing there, arms crossed, with eyes like embers. He hung his head. Mother Mouse pointed to his room without a word, and the shamed little mouse marched off to bed without any supper.
When he woke up, he felt good as new, though still shaken after his visit to Mr Hummel’s house, and when he looked at his hat sitting on the shelf, it proudly wore a new bright red feather.
So tell me how you liked it. :) I have to admit I’ve fallen in love with it… ^_^ So yeah. I want feedback!
have a great day!