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Posts Tagged ‘Depression’

You know that feeling when you dare to hope for something?

You finally give in, and you think your dream might be reality?

The time that your spirits soar and you can’t help smiling?

It’s an amazing feeling, isn’t it?

And then there’s the time that with a few simple words that’s all gone. And in its place is confusion, disillusionment, sadness, sometimes even depression.

And sometimes you have to stand by and watch it happen to friends, with nothing you can do to help.

I’ve frequently asked God “why would you do this? Couldn’t you bring your plan to life through another route? Why did he have to hurt so much? Why did she have to go through that? Why did you trick me like that?” and the like.

See, we as humans have this uncanny ability to pin all blame to God.

Someone’s girlfriend cheated on him, it’s “Why did you give me feelings for her, God? Why didn’t you let us just be friends?”

A person is diagnosed with cancer, and people wonder why God would do that to them.

But I think we have the wrong attitude.

Having our hopes crushed while we stand there watching is probably one of the worst feelings in all of life.

But too often we ask God “Why?”

Does it really matter why God’s allowing it to happen? Think about it. Even if you  knew why God was letting it happen, would it change anything?

Our attitude should not be one of blaming God, but instead saying “nevertheless.”

You’re going through fire, nevertheless, God will bring you through.

You’ve never felt greater heartbreak than this, nevertheless, God is still there, waiting for you with open arms.

You don’t know whether or not you’ll be able to face another day. Nevertheless, God still has a plan for your life.

I ask God “why” a lot. As if I think that even if I heard his plan I’d be able to comprehend it. But it doesn’t help to ask “why” unless you’re honestly searching for answers. Blaming God will never bring healing–only more hurt.

But seeing that he’s still there–that brings comfort. God will always be there with you. Even when there seems to be no hope left.

Becca

I found this post from a while back and apparently never posted it.. well I desperately needed to update again so I’m glad I found it!

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Abraham Lincoln once said that “most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” I completely agree.

I’m an extremely happy person. It can actually be pretty annoying at times, I admit. Last week I got told at a youth group I go to by one of the newer leaders that he didn’t know what I looked like when I wasn’t smiling or laughing.

I’ve had an easy life, though, too. I haven’t had to face sudden death of a friend, divorce, times where money is short, or any of that kind of stuff. So to many people it seems that it’s easy to be happy if you’re in my situation.

But the funny thing is that I don’t see a lot of my friends who come from extremely bad situations moping about their lives. I see people whose biggest problem is that their parents don’t let them go to parties with their sketchy boyfriend depressed about their lives.

I still don’t really understand why teenagers are so dramatic. Although I have to admit that I can be. Yes, I cry over stupid things. Yes, I have to control my whirlwind emotions at times. But I’ve always been able to control them. Unless they’re about grades. But I see people living their lives hating their parents (who are very nice people—most of them I absolutely love) and making up their minds to be as miserable as possible all the time.

And then I see some of my friends who have faced more than enough trouble for anyone, and they’re smiling and they’re praising God for what he’s done in their lives. They’re making friends, they’re talking about how much they appreciate their friends and family, and they focus on all the good in their lives.

I’m naturally bubbly, as I’ve mentioned, but I have had purpose for being sour towards life. My brother died when I was about 1 ½ years old when he was only 29 days old. I’ve had a close friend be diagnosed with AIDs. I’ve been told by people that I’m ugly (long time ago, almost over it don’t worry) and for a long time I believed them. I’ve seen a beautiful 6-year-old girl die of a brain tumour. But you know what? No matter how terrible these things are, God is sovereign. There is reason to be joyful, because we know that God has it under control.

I don’t mean that you have to always be smiling. I don’t mean that you have to always feel like laughing–and I definitely don’t mean that you need to forget the bad things in your life. How could I ever forget about Christopher (my brother) or the little girl I knew before she died? It’s impossible. But God calls us to be joyful–and we can be with his healing power. 

You have the ability to love your life or hate it. It’s up to you, and no one else can make that decision for you. But let me tell you—if your problem is with your parents, you’re likely in the wrong. They know what they’re doing—they’re older than you, they have experience, and they’re wiser. Yes, they can be annoying. Yes, they can make mistakes. Yes, they are embarrassing. But no, they do not hate you, and no, they are not trying to ruin your life. I’m not trying to belittle anyone’s suffering, anyone’s problems, anything. But the truth is, we as teenagers can blow situations out of proportion so easily.

“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” How happy are you deciding to be? Are you deciding to focus on the good, and on God? Or are you going to focus on the parts of your life that you hate?

Becca

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First off, thanks so much for all the comments and encouragement from my last post! It means more than you could ever imagine. Thanks to all the people who linked back to my blog, and for all the people who subscribed. :) It means a ton to me, and really gave me a new desire to keep writing!

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Have you ever thought that if there were no trials in life, there would be no reason to believe in God?

Emily just wrote that in a comment for my blog after my post “Life in Freefall” which was my last journal entry.

She’s absolutely right, though. If there were no trials, then why would we need God? If there were no hard times, why would we turn to God for comfort?

It reminds me of a verse in 2nd Corinthians, which goes like this:

Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves, but on God, who raises the dead. (2nd Cor 1:9)

That’s my favourite verse. It gives me hope—extreme hope. Not the hope that my life will be perfect, not the hope that I’ll never have to face the death of a friend, not the hope that I’ll have the perfect job—none of that. But hope that even if I have to live through the worst heartache imaginable, even if I have to see people turn away from me over and over again, even if nothing goes right and I feel like a failure that I have a God to rely on. Even if my life reaches the lowest point imaginable I have a God who raises the dead. I have a God who will raise me up to be all that he wants me to be. I have a God who will use that heartache, will use that failure, will use that rejection to further His kingdom and to bring Him glory.

Don’t you see? Being a Christian doesn’t mean that we have a pain-free life, it just means that the pain is for a reason. The pain is not meaningless—but is a tool that God will use to bring him glory.

And you know what? When God is glorified, his subjects are glorified.

Not many people in North America have gone through as much as Paul did. But still he was able to say that all the pain was worth it in the end. He doesn’t call us to be happy all through the pain—he says himself that in his heart he felt the sentence of death.

But we are called to have faith. And we are called to believe. And the reason we believe is because God is sovereign. God is not passive—he is active. God is able to use your heartbreak, your pain, your rejection, your failures—and he is able to use them in a way that you could never even imagine.

God is sovereign. Are you willing to hand your pain over to him?

Becca

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Hey girls. This is going to be a bit of a longer post.

Today I’m going to talk about something that all girls love to do: talk.

Think about it: You talk to your friends on the phone, on facebook, IMing, etc. You You form a deeper relationship with someone by telling them what’s been hurting you, what’s been making you smile, that embarrassing moment that happened, and how you’ve been growing with God. Girls have no problem talking to their friends (guys or girls) in this way, because it’s just second nature.

Now fit your parents into the scene. It becomes a lot harder for most of us.

I recently read a blog post from Love Unawakened and I thought that they showed a very interesting point: your parents are some of your potential best friends.

I’m homeschooled, so my parents know basically everything about me. They know who I e-mail, who I talk to on the phone, who I hang out with—everything. Mostly because we’re all in the same house all day. I honestly can’t imagine life if I hated my parents like some girls do, and I used to have a “holier than thou” view about the girls who disrespected their parents or simply didn’t talk to them at all.

Then I got a bit of a smack on the head to set my views straight. I was having a terrible day, and was in one of those grumpy moods that I sometimes get when things don’t go my way, and my mom simply said, “Your life isn’t terrible, you know.” And then left my room.

I remember thinking, “Of course it’s not terrible… I love my life. I’m just having a bad day.” Then it hit me, how would she know that? She could see by looking at how I live, and the friends I have and the like that I have a good life, of course. But I had only talked to her about the things that were hurting me, the things that I didn’t like, how much of a bad time I was having at some place. Sure, I talked to her about the good stuff that was happening to, but the times that I honestly sat down with her and talked about what was making me happy was heavily outweighed by the number of times I complained to her or cried to her.

So I’ve been trying to change that. I’ve been trying to talk to both my parents more about the good things in my life, but it is hard. It’s a lot easier to open up to people about the harder things, sometimes, especially if you’re not in the wrong (I wasn’t in these cases) than to tell people what makes you happy. What if they think it’s stupid? What if they say that it’s not a good idea to get to know a certain friend as closely as you are? What if your parents think you could be doing better?

Those are all the questions that I have a hard time overcoming, and I have yet to figure out how to have a perfect relationship with my parents. But I’m getting closer, I’ll tell you that.

For all you girls out there who have a hard time talking with your mom or your dad, here are some things that helped me:

  • Instead of talking face to face (which can be hard and can end up in fights sometimes, especially if you know that you and your parents disagree) write a letter or a note or an e-mail to them telling them what you feel about a certain topic.
  • Try the “sandwich approach:” something good about your life, something you hate about your life, and then something you like about your life. Two goods surrounding a bad. Besides, it really helps you be thankful and grateful for the life you have.
  • Have a certain place that’s easy for you to open up in. For me, it’s our hot tub. J I always talk with my parents in the hot tub. It might be in the car, (especially if you live in the country) or right before bed time. Whatever works for you.
  • Choose your battles. If you are going to complain about something in the house, don’t complain about how the phone is too far to reach from the kitchen sink and how your brothers always squeeze the middle of the toothpaste tube and so make it hard to get the toothpaste out and how they left their socks in the hallway again when your friends come over they laugh, when really the big issue is that you aren’t getting enough sleep at night because your older brother is blasting his music until 3.00 in the morning.
  • Think before you speak. Especially with your parents and siblings it is so easy to lash out and strike, and those wounds take a long time to heal.
  • Listen to them. Don’t just rant and then interrupt them when they start to protest a little bit. Think about how you would feel if someone challenged how you were running something. Then pause, breathe, think, and then say your bit.

Becca

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We all know the little kid rhyme “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

When someone teases five-year-old Sally about how she spilt ice-cream all over her pretty dress, or 6-year-old Tom about how he fell into the box of toys, we recite the rhyme and hopefully win backa smile from the little kids’ faces.

But inside we know that the words hurt more than the sticks and stones.

Kelli from Unaverage Relationships wrote a neat post on this very subject, and it’s what got me thinking on it. Here’s what she said (my favourite part, anyway): (note, this post was directed towards guys, so that’s who she’s talking to.)

I have guy friends that joke about girls weight around them. For example, they will say something like “move over chubs” and I know they don’t mean it because they never do it to a girl who is overweight, but you never know what’s going on with that girl. Maybe she thinks she’s overweight and you saying that just affirmed that lie in her head. I had a guy friend say something joking like that to me and I said “That’s mean” and he said “Kelly, you know I wouldn’t say it if it were true!” I know he didn’t mean it, but for a second it hurt, and because I said something about it he affirmed in me that it wasn’t true, but most girls won’t call you on it. They will just think “He’s right. I am fat.” Whether that results in something as serious as an eating disorder or not, her self-esteem just dropped a little and she may be a little more conscious of the things she doesn’t like about herself, rather than the things she does like. That’s when insecurity and the feeling worthlessness start to work their way in.

She’s totally right. Something as small as a joke about someone’s weight can become the reason someone stops eating. Calling someone annoying can cause them to believe no one likes them. Words are such powerful weapons–and are too often used for bad.

Wounds inflicted by words almost always hurt more than physical hurt. You know why? Because those kinds of wounds will be with you forever. If you break your leg, it’s broken for a few months and then it’s back to new not too long afterwords. It’s like it never happened, unless you have a visible battle-scar.

But words stay. And not only do they stay, but they work their way deeper and deeper and deeper until they suck the very life out of us.

You know something, though? They don’t have to stay. They don’t have to torture and burn. You are able to get rid of every single scar left on your heart because of something someone said to you. Jesus is waiting with his arms wide open for you to give it all to him, and you’re the one running away. God is right there for you–are you going to let him help you? He’s begging you to run to him–will you listen to his call? Or will you choose to stay in a world or turmoil, heartbreak, depression, confusion and chaos?

I’m going to listen to Jesus. I’m going to give all the hateful things people have said to me over to him. It’s hard to surrender even a part of your life you hate over to Jesus–but please, give it to him.

He wants to comfort you–let him. He wants to lift you up and show you how much of a beautiful princess of God you are. Will you let him?

Becca

Here’s the full entry from unavereage relationships. Check it out!

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