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Posts Tagged ‘Relationships’

You know that feeling when you dare to hope for something?

You finally give in, and you think your dream might be reality?

The time that your spirits soar and you can’t help smiling?

It’s an amazing feeling, isn’t it?

And then there’s the time that with a few simple words that’s all gone. And in its place is confusion, disillusionment, sadness, sometimes even depression.

And sometimes you have to stand by and watch it happen to friends, with nothing you can do to help.

I’ve frequently asked God “why would you do this? Couldn’t you bring your plan to life through another route? Why did he have to hurt so much? Why did she have to go through that? Why did you trick me like that?” and the like.

See, we as humans have this uncanny ability to pin all blame to God.

Someone’s girlfriend cheated on him, it’s “Why did you give me feelings for her, God? Why didn’t you let us just be friends?”

A person is diagnosed with cancer, and people wonder why God would do that to them.

But I think we have the wrong attitude.

Having our hopes crushed while we stand there watching is probably one of the worst feelings in all of life.

But too often we ask God “Why?”

Does it really matter why God’s allowing it to happen? Think about it. Even if you  knew why God was letting it happen, would it change anything?

Our attitude should not be one of blaming God, but instead saying “nevertheless.”

You’re going through fire, nevertheless, God will bring you through.

You’ve never felt greater heartbreak than this, nevertheless, God is still there, waiting for you with open arms.

You don’t know whether or not you’ll be able to face another day. Nevertheless, God still has a plan for your life.

I ask God “why” a lot. As if I think that even if I heard his plan I’d be able to comprehend it. But it doesn’t help to ask “why” unless you’re honestly searching for answers. Blaming God will never bring healing–only more hurt.

But seeing that he’s still there–that brings comfort. God will always be there with you. Even when there seems to be no hope left.

Becca

I found this post from a while back and apparently never posted it.. well I desperately needed to update again so I’m glad I found it!

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Welcome to your last day on Earth! :)

So apparently today at 6.00 or something the world’s gonna end?

Well, it’s been a good life. God made a pretty nice world, when all’s said and done. Too bad I won’t live to get married, have kids, start my career, etc…

It really makes me laugh when I see people freak out about these “it’s the end of the world” days. I mean, as Christians, we know that no one will know the date of when the world ends, not even Jesus.

But what hit me today was really “You know, if God came today, I’d be disappointed.”
And that made me think.

I mean, I love God SO much. I honestly do. BUT I also love stuff that this world has to offer. (Getting married, having kids, etc.)

All of the things that I am looking forward to in my life are good things. Falling in love is good. Getting married is good. Having kids is good (hopefully cute ones with curly blond hair and big brown eyes). But when we are presented with the idea of living with God forever instead of all these things we shouldn’t waste a second thinking about it–our first reaction should be YES God! I want to be with you!

So what is it for you? Are you holding on to things that this world has to offer, good or bad? Or are you 100% ready for Jesus to come and take you to be with Him?

Now, I definitely don’t believe that the world is ending today. I think it’s funny when people try to predict it :) It’s like saying that you know the last number of pi or something… (yess, I’m a math nerd)

But the point remains–if he were to come today, would you be ready? Would you be excited?

Becca

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Books pt 2

Hey everyone,

So I’m absolutely amazed by how many hits my last post got my blog! I was so happy!

So I’m writing another post on the subject. :)

I feel like I didn’t really explain what I meant about the romance novels. I bashed them a bit too much, I’m afraid. I do enjoy them when I’m on vacation and just want some brain-candy reads, and times like that.

But they bother me. A lot.

Girls are told everywhere–ads, friends, movies, music–that the most important thing in life is getting a guy and keeping him. Whatever it takes to keep him, do it. Our identities are tied with who we’re going out with or have gone out with in the past, according to the world.

Unfortunately, it’s a mindset most girls take on without even realizing it. And I think that the same message is given in many Christian romance novels.

Girls, the point of life is not to get married. The point of life is not to find that special guy. The point of life is to live in such a way that a part of heaven shines through you. Anything else is shallow, temporary and unfulfilling. Even if what you’re aiming for is a godly marriage. You need to understand that. Love is amazing, and you have no idea how much I want to meet my future husband. But if love is our first priority, and not God, life has no meaning.

I’m afraid that more and more girls are being fed the lie that life is about marriage, and God is being shoved back a little. Even in Christian romance novels.

Now, like I said, I have nothing against said novels, and I read them, too. I just don’t really enjoy them, and so I only read them when I need a no-brainer book. :) Hey, we all need some brain-candy sometimes. But I just don’t completely agree with the worldview they give. It is possible to have romance in a story without it being the main plotline, and those are the books I love. :)

Now, a couple of you have asked what books I recommend, and so I’m going to give a very short list:

  1. anything by Agatha Christie, especially “and then there were none”
  2. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee–makes me cry every time.
  3. Anything by George Orwell–but make sure to have a study guide kind of thing so that you understand everything he’s talking about. He’s just great. But ask your mom or dad before reading 1984, even though it’s a classic.

Right now I’m actually reading The Cantebury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer, written in the end of the 14th century. In the original old English. And yes, I know I’m insane. :P It’s on my iPod, so I can read it while working out. :) Double win! (yeah, it’s free on iBooks if you’re interested)

So what do you think? What are some of your favourite books? If you like Christian romance novels, which are your favourites? I’ll let my sister know, and she’d probably love to have some suggestions!

Becca



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Giving Up Dreams

We find it really easy to surrender some dreams to God. The dream of having the newest car, for one, is an easy one to give up. If you felt that God was asking you to use that money to build wells in third world countries, I’m sure that a lot of people would be ok with it after some thought, even if they had been saving up for a long time.

But what about your dream of getting married?

I know this is a huge one for a lot of girls—it definitely is for me, I’m not going to lie. (If any of my guyfriends are reading this, don’t worry. I won’t be husband-hunting for a while yet. ;) so no cause for alarm) Girls want so badly to be loved—don’t we? I know it isn’t just me. We all want to believe that there’s the perfect guy out for us, and that God is going to present him at just the right time. Not only that, but it’s going to be more romantic than we could ever imagine.

Every Christian girl has their list of the things they need in a husband. It varies from girl to girl, but we all have one. Don’t try to deny it.

But have you ever thought that God might call you to be single?

It’s a scary thought, isn’t it, to most of us? It actually completely scares me—I don’t think I could live alone my whole life. But the point remains—he could call you to be single. He could call me. There’s no way of knowing until the time comes for him to reveal that part of the plan to us.

Would you be willing to hand your dreams of marriage over to God, and allow him to use your life however he sees fit?

Something to think about.

Becca

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So I’m going through a major U2 phase right now, and I’ve been listening to them all the time. One song I really like called “A Man and a Woman” has a really interesting line in it.

“I could never take a chance of losing love to find romance.”

I love how much U2 distinguishes between the two. People tend to forget that romance and love are two different things. When teenagers think of love, they’re really thinking of romance most of the time.

Let me explain.

When a girl thinks about love, half the time she thinks about walking through fields of daisies hand-in-hand with her beloved prince charming. Then, out of nowhere, spontaneous waltzing with said prince, and then spending the rest of the day just you and him, safe and madly in love with each other. This is romance, not love.

Romance comes with love. Love doesn’t always come with romance.

Love is hard work. Love is being patient when the other person is really ticking you off. Love is making hard decisions together without blowing up. Or, if you do blow up at him, you make it up and admit you were wrong. Love is being able to spend every day with each other–through the good and the bad–putting not the other person first, but God.

Love is tough.

I dont’ say this to make everyone all depressed or anything–I say it to warn people. Now listen to me: teenage Christian girls often swear that they will never date anyone if they can’t picture marrying them. Now, when you get asked out by a guy who you think you could marry, are you picturing a marriage or romance, or a marriage of love? You can picture a marriage of romance with anyone. But a marriage of love is much harder to picture with some people.

We so often are led astray by the lie that romance and love are the same thing. They are so different! Romance is a natural outcome of love–but love is the hard part.

When I picture love, I picture my mom and dad. I think about how Daddy is (usually) extremely patient with mommy when she’s in a bad mood. I think about how Mommy works extra hard to make a nice meal for daddy when he comes home from a hard day at work. This may sound weird, but I picture them fighting, too. Because it’s inevitable, but they always make up after it. I picture how daddy looks at my mom when he thinks I’m not looking.

Not all of us have parents like mine–I mean, mine run marriage conferences. But all I’m trying to say is that when you are thinking about the kind of guy you want to marry or date, I want to warn you not to base your relationship on romance. Base it on love–on 1 Corinthians 13. Go read it if you don’t know what I’m talking about.

So what about you? What do you think? Let me know in a comment or an e-mail.

Becca

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Abraham Lincoln once said that “most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” I completely agree.

I’m an extremely happy person. It can actually be pretty annoying at times, I admit. Last week I got told at a youth group I go to by one of the newer leaders that he didn’t know what I looked like when I wasn’t smiling or laughing.

I’ve had an easy life, though, too. I haven’t had to face sudden death of a friend, divorce, times where money is short, or any of that kind of stuff. So to many people it seems that it’s easy to be happy if you’re in my situation.

But the funny thing is that I don’t see a lot of my friends who come from extremely bad situations moping about their lives. I see people whose biggest problem is that their parents don’t let them go to parties with their sketchy boyfriend depressed about their lives.

I still don’t really understand why teenagers are so dramatic. Although I have to admit that I can be. Yes, I cry over stupid things. Yes, I have to control my whirlwind emotions at times. But I’ve always been able to control them. Unless they’re about grades. But I see people living their lives hating their parents (who are very nice people—most of them I absolutely love) and making up their minds to be as miserable as possible all the time.

And then I see some of my friends who have faced more than enough trouble for anyone, and they’re smiling and they’re praising God for what he’s done in their lives. They’re making friends, they’re talking about how much they appreciate their friends and family, and they focus on all the good in their lives.

I’m naturally bubbly, as I’ve mentioned, but I have had purpose for being sour towards life. My brother died when I was about 1 ½ years old when he was only 29 days old. I’ve had a close friend be diagnosed with AIDs. I’ve been told by people that I’m ugly (long time ago, almost over it don’t worry) and for a long time I believed them. I’ve seen a beautiful 6-year-old girl die of a brain tumour. But you know what? No matter how terrible these things are, God is sovereign. There is reason to be joyful, because we know that God has it under control.

I don’t mean that you have to always be smiling. I don’t mean that you have to always feel like laughing–and I definitely don’t mean that you need to forget the bad things in your life. How could I ever forget about Christopher (my brother) or the little girl I knew before she died? It’s impossible. But God calls us to be joyful–and we can be with his healing power. 

You have the ability to love your life or hate it. It’s up to you, and no one else can make that decision for you. But let me tell you—if your problem is with your parents, you’re likely in the wrong. They know what they’re doing—they’re older than you, they have experience, and they’re wiser. Yes, they can be annoying. Yes, they can make mistakes. Yes, they are embarrassing. But no, they do not hate you, and no, they are not trying to ruin your life. I’m not trying to belittle anyone’s suffering, anyone’s problems, anything. But the truth is, we as teenagers can blow situations out of proportion so easily.

“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” How happy are you deciding to be? Are you deciding to focus on the good, and on God? Or are you going to focus on the parts of your life that you hate?

Becca

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Whenever I go to retreats or speakers or even worship with a whole bunch of Christian kids I usually see a ton of people crying because of how much they feel God.

It’s absolutely amazing how much God can be a presence in a room. But whenever I go to those conferences, whenever I see those people crying, I’m not one of them. I hardly ever am that person who’s weeping because of what God’s been showing them—I’m the one who will go home and write to God about it in her prayer journal.

For a while because of this, to be honest, I felt like I was a lesser Christian. Why didn’t I feel God in the way that other people did? Why wasn’t I so amazed by his presence?

I struggled with this for a while, but then, after reading an author’s blog post, I realized that God is not an emotion.

That being said, that does not mean that God isn’t an emotional God. He displays himself through emotions, he causes emotions, and he has emotions—but he is not an emotion.

Just because I don’t always cry because I loved a speaker or a song or a message doesn’t mean I didn’t experience God. The problem I find with a lot of teens is that they get so caught up in the rush that you get when you feel God’s presence that they forget about being his servant even when you can’t feel him. When you can’t feel God, when you can’t be sure that he’s there by relying on your feelings or senses, it’s a lot harder to believe him.

I know a lot of teenagers who are extremely emotional when they hear speakers or songs, but do not follow God during the rest of the week. I think everyone does.

Let me say this: just because you are extremely convicted after a message enough that you begin to cry because of God’s presence, or just because you get extremely emotional whenever you are in a church setting does not mean that you are a better Christian than someone else. It does not mean that you understand God better. It doesn’t even mean that you are a Christian.

Christians are not meant to follow God only when we can feel him—we are told to follow God even when he is silent. Even when it feels like he’s abandoned you—because he never has. You are a Christian when you do something about those emotions that God has given you—when you follow where he wants you to go. When you refuse to live your life in sin, but surrender everything to Him. You can’t do that when you rely on God as an emotion.

Feeling God’s presence is an amazing experience—don’t get me wrong.

But unless we can follow him when we can’t feel him, we’re not worthy for God’s kingdom.

I believe in the sun

Even when it`s not shining

I believe in love

Even when I can`t feel it

And I believe in God

Even when he is silent

(Barlowgirl–I believe in love)

Becca

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