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Posts Tagged ‘self-worth’

Don’t you hate it when you suddenly realize something about yourself that you were trying to avoid?

When you realize that, all of a sudden, you aren’t so perfect as you thought in that one area in life?

I got a bit of a wake-up call this weekend while hanging out with some amazing friends of mine, and getting to know two other awesome girls. I’ve been working on something for a really long time (which I’m not going to post on here) and I just realized this weekend how far I am from conquering it.

We all have something in our lives that we wish could just go away. Vanity, selfishness, lack of confidence, flirting, lust, gossiping, and tons more.

But no matter how hard we try, and no matter how long we succeed for, it always seems to come back, doesn’t it?

I was positive I had conquered this area in my life. But after hanging out with a bunch of different people I realized I hadn’t. I was ashamed of how I was acting around them at different points of time, because it’s not the way a daughter of God should be.

For a long time I’ve been justifying it by saying, “It’s not a sin. You didn’t do anything wrong, Becca, so snap out of it.”

But then I remember my verse… Revelation 3:16, which I quote all the time. “So, because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”

I really hate how the Christian life can’t be lukewarm. Wouldn’t that be a lot easier?

But it’s not. And you know why? Because when we live on fire for God, giving up those habits is worth it. But if we only give up half of ourselves, we’re never going to understand all that he has planned for us.

We are not perfect. You will never be perfect. So STOP TRYING. But we can be righteous. Righteousness is for the followers of God not only in heaven, but while we’re here on earth, too. Being righteous doesn’t mean that you never sin–we all sin. But it does mean that we have a heart yearning for God, and living for him every second of our lives.

God will help you conquer whatever you struggle with. You may go back into old ways once in a while, but with His help you will conquer it completely. And no matter how much I wish God could hurry up and help me, I know that His timing is better than mine, and that I really do need to learn patience anyway…

Becca

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Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only in my presence, but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine like lights in the world.

Philippians 2:12-15

I love this passage so much :)

There’s so much good stuff crammed into 4 verses, honestly, I could go on for days about this passage. But I’ll try to keep it under 600 words, like usual. :)

I’m going to first skip ahead to the second section:

Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine like lights in the world.

You hear that? Do all things without grumbling or questioning. I get told to stop whining a lot, personally. I tend to be a bit of a drama-queen at times. :)

Sometimes it’s hard not to grumble. Sometimes God calls us to do hard stuff, whether it’s getting a certain job, making friends with some of the ‘weirder’ kids, or going on a missions trip. But we’re to do all things without grumbling or questioning… and that’s pretty tough.

But you know why? It’s so that we’ll shine like stars. :) We live in a crooked and twisted generation, as Paul says, and when we live the Christian life we just shine so brightly that everyone has a glimpse of God’s goodness, love and power. Isn’t that amazing? Isn’t that what everyone wants in their Christian walk?

But there’s a catch.

We go back to the first section:

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only in my presence, but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.


If we’re going to shine like stars we’d better have faith. And it can’t be your parents’ faith, your friends’ faith, etc. It has to be yours. (read my last post–it talks about this more in detail.)

God can’t use someone as much as he wants to unless they completely devote themselves to him. But it’s hard, isn’t it? It’s hard to give your comfort over to God. I’m definitely not above admitting that it’s one of the hardest things I’m going through right now.

And after that, he wants to use you to spread his word. Not the word of how amazing you are, not the word of how much he appreciates you… the word of his love and his salvation and his forgiveness.

It seems a bit unfair until you realize what else there is promised.

We’ll live a life content in God.

We’ll find happiness beyond what we can ask or imagine.

We’ll live for eternity in the most amazing paradise you will ever know.

We have a personal relationship with the one man who was strong enough, brave enough, loving enough to come down and die a brutal death on the cross.

And if we shine like lights in our crooked and twisted generation, we can open up this love to a thousand other people.

Becca

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Thanks, God, for giving me such great friends.

Thanks for showing me that you are here for me, even though it feels sometimes that my prayers bounce back off the ceiling.

Thanks for showing me that you love me just the way I am, and for giving me a glimpse of myself the way you see me.

Thanks for letting me be a part of such a change in my friend’s life… it’s been amazing to watch.

Thanks for all the girls you told to send me encouraging e-mails about my blog just when I needed them.

Thanks for how the little grade-6-girl I know looks up to me so much… it really is a huge encouragement.

Thanks for how beautiful the frost was today. Even though it was cold. Can you make frost a bit warmer next time?

Thanks for my cousins—I really love them a ton.

Thanks for showing me what great friends I have, and for giving me some new ones this year. It’s really been amazing.

Thanks for when that little girl came up to me this morning and told me that she wants to look like me when she grows up, because she thinks I’m pretty. :)

Thanks for the little things in life, God. They’re sometimes what mean the most.

Becca

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Confidence

I take singing lessons, as some of you may know, and I really like it. I could already sing before I started, (I could hit whatever note someone told me to, I could breathe properly, etc) but I’m finding it super helpful.

The one thing I struggle with, though, is not the normal things that people struggle with, but is confidence.

I’m a super bubbly person, and usually have no problem throwing myself into a crowd of people I don’t know. But whenever I get up to sing whatever I’ve been practicing, I “curl up into myself”, as my teacher says. My shoulders hunch forward. My head tilts down. My body language screams “insecurity.” But I’m not insecure with anything else–I’m just really afraid that someone won’t like my singing, and so I’m afraid of letting myself push farther, make mistakes, and then fix them so that I become a better singer.

What are you afraid of? Are you afraid people won’t like how you write? Are you afraid people don’t like your personality? That you won’t make the soccer team?

Everyone has something that we’re afraid of. But are you keeping it so hidden that you’ll never be able to enjoy the potential rewards? The one time that I let myself just open up and sing, he said it was the best that I’ve ever done. It’s really rewarding to not give into fear–and you can do it with God’s help.

Becca

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The celebrity life isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be, is it?

Paparazzi in your face 24/7, pictures of your one imperfection splattered all over magazines for everyone to read, scandals and rumours blown extremely out of proportion so that everyone believes that you are a terrible person.

And you still have people adoring you–but it’s a jealous adoration, not a respectful one.

So why do we want to be famous? Why do we want people to know who we are?

Woah, Becca. I don’t want to be famous in the least–I’m extremely happy with my little small-town-girl life, you might be saying.

And that’s probably true–none of us want the lives of these celebrities. We want to be able to gain 2 pounds and not be called “The fatty in hollywood”. None of us want gossip spread behind our back like wildfire.

But we still want fame. We want people to know who we are. We want people we’ve never even met to love us, to give us affirmation, to want to learn everything about us.

Just today, looking at my stats for this blog I was starting to get a bit down. “Why don’t people read my blog? How can I get more people to read? Why am I not very well known, even though I’m trying really hard?”

I want people to know me, to know Throwing Pebbles just by hearing the name. I want people to know me as that girl who write amazing stuff.

Why is a craving for fame and to be known a part of us? Everyone wants to be known for something–but are you losing your focus because of it?

Something I realized over this summer was that I was losing my focus. With the quizzing program that I do, where we memorize full books of the Bible (we’re doing John right now) and then quiz on it, I wanted to be known as the number 1 quizzer in our district. And I was almost all year! It was SOO exciting! But I began to lose my focus. I began to put my placing and how others saw me above what I was really doing–memorizing God’s word.

And trust me, once the stress of being known goes away, life gets a lot more fun. ;) You’re allowed to do stupid stuff and not care, you’re able to make a joke about yourself and not worry if anyone took it seriously or not–you’re just allowed to live life to its fullest while honouring God with your lifestyle.

I’d advise everyone to forget the fame–drop it now. Honestly, if I end up bringing ONE person closer to God in all my years of blogging, isn’t that enough? Shouldn’t that be enough? I think it is.

But it would help my motivation if my stats were a little higher, so pass this site on! :D

But honestly, forget the fame. Your life will feel more complete once your one and only passion is to please God–not yourself.

Becca

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Hey girls,

My last post was about being valued and treasured, and I’m going to kind of follow in that direction with this post.

We all have good guyfriends, don’t we? Those ones we can call/chat/e-mail about anything? If you don’t, I’m really sorry about that–becuase sometimes I find that they’re the best to talk to.

I’m sure that we’ve all gotten into one of these conversations with one of our guyfriends before, though…

Beth: (looks at tummy) *Sigh* “I really shouldn’t have eaten all those chips today–I’m going to get even fatter than I already am.
Fred: “What? You’re not fat. Don’t be stupid. ”
Beth: “Very nice, but honestly… I could really lose a few pounds…”
Fred: “If you lost any more weight we’d lose you, Beth.”
Beth: “Aww, Fred, you’re so sweet…”

And it is sweet. For the girl. But I recently read a book called The Truth about Guys by Chad Eastham and he clearly states that girls pressure guys into giving them the affirmation that they think they need to feel better about themselves. It’s really easy for girls to heap compliments upon each other to fill the “confidence metre” but it puts your guyfriends in a really awkward position when you start complaining about how you look. (Or any other insecurity for that matter.)

I personally hate being pressured to do anything. It makes me feel awkward, self-concious, and even angry. When you start complaining about yourself to your guyfriend, it makes him feel pressured to be the gentleman and say that you look beautiful, which can be hard for some guys, since, to be honest, a lot of girls would take that the wrong way.

If you feel like you need your guyfriends/boyfriend to tell you that you are beautiful, talented, smart, etc., then you need to watch yourself. It’s not safe to rely on other people’s comments to make you feel good, because it leaves you very vulnerable when bad comments come your way.

But above that, it’s extremely unfair to your brothers in Christ to be relying on them for your self-confidence. I realize that I did that for a long time with a few of my guyfriends, and I think I pushed some of them away. So don’t put your friends in awkward situations, but love yourself for who God made you, not for what people say you are.

Becca

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We all know the little kid rhyme “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

When someone teases five-year-old Sally about how she spilt ice-cream all over her pretty dress, or 6-year-old Tom about how he fell into the box of toys, we recite the rhyme and hopefully win backa smile from the little kids’ faces.

But inside we know that the words hurt more than the sticks and stones.

Kelli from Unaverage Relationships wrote a neat post on this very subject, and it’s what got me thinking on it. Here’s what she said (my favourite part, anyway): (note, this post was directed towards guys, so that’s who she’s talking to.)

I have guy friends that joke about girls weight around them. For example, they will say something like “move over chubs” and I know they don’t mean it because they never do it to a girl who is overweight, but you never know what’s going on with that girl. Maybe she thinks she’s overweight and you saying that just affirmed that lie in her head. I had a guy friend say something joking like that to me and I said “That’s mean” and he said “Kelly, you know I wouldn’t say it if it were true!” I know he didn’t mean it, but for a second it hurt, and because I said something about it he affirmed in me that it wasn’t true, but most girls won’t call you on it. They will just think “He’s right. I am fat.” Whether that results in something as serious as an eating disorder or not, her self-esteem just dropped a little and she may be a little more conscious of the things she doesn’t like about herself, rather than the things she does like. That’s when insecurity and the feeling worthlessness start to work their way in.

She’s totally right. Something as small as a joke about someone’s weight can become the reason someone stops eating. Calling someone annoying can cause them to believe no one likes them. Words are such powerful weapons–and are too often used for bad.

Wounds inflicted by words almost always hurt more than physical hurt. You know why? Because those kinds of wounds will be with you forever. If you break your leg, it’s broken for a few months and then it’s back to new not too long afterwords. It’s like it never happened, unless you have a visible battle-scar.

But words stay. And not only do they stay, but they work their way deeper and deeper and deeper until they suck the very life out of us.

You know something, though? They don’t have to stay. They don’t have to torture and burn. You are able to get rid of every single scar left on your heart because of something someone said to you. Jesus is waiting with his arms wide open for you to give it all to him, and you’re the one running away. God is right there for you–are you going to let him help you? He’s begging you to run to him–will you listen to his call? Or will you choose to stay in a world or turmoil, heartbreak, depression, confusion and chaos?

I’m going to listen to Jesus. I’m going to give all the hateful things people have said to me over to him. It’s hard to surrender even a part of your life you hate over to Jesus–but please, give it to him.

He wants to comfort you–let him. He wants to lift you up and show you how much of a beautiful princess of God you are. Will you let him?

Becca

Here’s the full entry from unavereage relationships. Check it out!

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